So I'm lying in my incredibly high up bed in this very strange bedroom and a big mouse, about the size of a rat, brown and a bit scabby but definitely a mouse and not a rat, runs under the bed next to me. It has a hospital feel, then I'm on a futon again. I go downstairs and then come back up again and I'm back in my incredibly high up bed and a white mouse, the same size as the scabby one but in better condition, crawls up my top and bites me hard on my back, sinking its teeth in like a hook, just in that part of my back that I can't reach for love nor money. It hurts and it is scary. 'Mum mum come and help me help me get it off get it off get it off' My Mum comes up and I am hoping that she doesn't just pull it as that would rip up my skin, but that she unhooks it. She is then in her double bed, in the room we share, by the window and there is water leaking all over it from the bay window. 'I'm going into Matthew's room' she says and I'm like 'Why?' and she shows me the bed and it is soaking. Wet satin sheets. Nice. Just then the phone starts buzzing. 6.18am. On a Sunday. Husband notably absent from the bed beside me. Answer. Husband's small voice comes over the phone 'Hello' 'Where the hell are you?' 'Chofu' 'Why?' 'I got arrested' 'Pardon?' '...' 'What for' 'Stealing a bicycle' '...' 'I was drunk and I missed the last train' 'Where are you now?' 'In the police Station' 'where did you stay last night?' 'In the police station' '...do you need me to come and get you?' 'Yes' 'When?' '...' 'Now?' 'Yes please'...'Gomen ne'.
So I get up, get dressed get on the train and go to a station near Chofu then and hour and a half later call husband again and get directions to the police station.
When I get there an old geezer copper with a red face and a strong character says 'Mrs Sarah' then then motions to a dingy, dirty, depressing little room with a shamed little figure sitting, head faced down looking very sorry for himself then makes a gesture for bashing a husband's head in. I think he was suggesting that I batter him when I get the chance. All I want to do is laugh hysterically and call him a muppet. Then we sit in a little room while I give my details, husband looks very sorry and small and says sorry a lot, his head hung low. I listen carefully and get translation where necessary as the old geezer cop tells me that my husband fell asleep on the train, drunk. The last train of the evening. Goes to Shinjuku (our stop) stays on asleep. The train turns round and goes back out to the countryside. He wakes up about 40 minutes train ride away from our station, gets off, the last train has obviously gone, so he jumps on a bicycle and starts to ride home.
About 15 minutes later he is caught and incarcerated.
All night. I try and keep a straight face because, well honestly, it is ridiculous. Old Geez asks me if he drinks a lot 'No not usually'. Then after a short time they tell me they are not going to call husband's company, or charge him, but let him off with a warning. They could not see his criminal mind. They tell me next time they will call his company. I say there will not be a next time officer I'm sorry. I fill in a form (for my teenage son?) We leave, him bowing and apologising, me bowing and expressing gratitude. We get in the lift walk past a lot of
bicycles and exit the building. I laugh and call him a muppet. He apologizes.
